Dicknotism: Man, Myth or Mesmerizing Sex

Dicknotize: v. The after effects or practice of putting someone in the state of hypnosis through the use of one’s great soul snatching dick (phallic skills). 

Dicknotism: n. When a woman refuses to realize/acknowledge the faults of her lover simply because she is obsessed with the dick. (See also: Dicknosis, Dicknotized)
Symptoms of dicknotism include:
• Multiple orgasms

• Extreme euphoria after sex

• Delusions of a successful healthy relationship with said man that you know you should not be with

• Dealing with bullshit in order to keep this man(and his dick) in your life

• Being made a fool for good sex that you have mistaken for love.

          Dicknotism is something most women have suffered from at least once in their lives. It’s the irrational fixation on that one guy whose dick game is A1. We heard this term used in the movie Girls Trip when Ryan’s friends were telling her how dumb she is for taking back her cheating spouse. Dicknotism is a real thing, like you know he ain’t shit, doesn’t deserve you, let’s you down all the time but the only constant is the mind blowing orgasms. *Sigh* we’ve all been there before ladies, I’ve shamefully made hour long drives to get my dose of some dope dick in my younger days. I’ve had friends tell me about the guy they are stuck on and I’m like clearly you just love the dick because there seems to be nothing else good about him. We’ve also seen it played out in the media i.e. Future, Peter Gunz, Fetty Wap, I’m sure there are more but you get the picture. The thing these men have in common besides their celebrity is the fact that they have multiple baby mothers, so let’s assume they are slanging that good wood. Anyway I see these guys on celebrity gossip blogs with new women that keep fucking with them no matter how many baby mamas and drama they bring to their girlfriend’s lives but why do they stay? It must be the dick, these women have to be dicknotized right? There’s even a song called D2B(Dick 2 Bomb) by Problem that describes exactly what dicknotism is. I think it’s more than just good sex though like I said in my previous post sex is the ultimate energy exchange so besides his penis prowess there is some other factors to consider if you might be dicknotized.
Why do bum ass dudes have bomb dick?

         TLC warned us eighteen years ago to stay away from scrubs but here some of y’all are out here fucking niggas with multiple baby mamas, paying rent by yourself while ol’ dude driving your car while you at work smh chile we gotta do better. Good D isn’t worth your dignity beloved. It’s obvious that the most A1 dick comes from the top of the line fuckboys, deadbeats and scrubs.. Why is this? I believe if a man knows he has little to nothing to offer a woman he’s going to use the one asset he knows that can keep a woman coming back for more, that peen. Multiple orgasms combined with a long time emotional/financial investment in a man plus desperation leads to dicknotism over an ain’t shit dude. It ain’t worth it honey cut your losses and just move on with your life, that dick ain’t worth the emotional and financial debt!
How does Dicknotism Work?

          The biggest factor to consider in dicknotism is that most of the time the female being dicknotized (the dicknotizee) had either never had sex before, was going through a dry spell or their last partner was wack as hell in bed so it set the standard pretty low for the dicknotizer. If it’s been awhile since a woman has had good sex the first guy that smashes with passion and stamina is going to have her seeing stars. The one thing that most women don’t know men have a hard time switching up is their fucking style; a man can and will fuck the chick he met last night at the club with the same passion as how he’d fuck the love of his life. This can easily confuse a woman’s heart and vagina to think this man is “the one” especially if they haven’t been getting bomb D on a consistent basis.
Sex: Sacred Energy eXchange

          Also let’s factor in the spiritual aspect of it; sex is an exchange of energy and you can be bonded to another through this exchange, no matter what the relationship might be. Energy is real and when you’re having sex with someone your energies intertwine for that moment. When you’re constantly having sex with the same person your energies get entangled and it makes it hard for you to detach yourself from that person’s energy. You ever notice when you fuck with a guy for awhile you tend to adopt his mannerisms and such, it’s not just that person growing on you, you literally are inheriting his energy.
His & Her Hormones 

           The real reason for dicknotism is biological, if you’re letting a guy fuck raw consistently, your body forms a hormonal bond through oxytocin, which makes sex with that guy damn near addictive. So even if you enter a situation with a guy and swear to yourself you’re going to keep it strictly sexual your body is going to make a different decision for you. You can get these oxytocin levels from protected sex too but unprotected sex is way more powerful like you literally have this man’s DNA in you sis. Even though we’ve evolved as a species our bodies still make it so we bond with the possible fathers of our children through sex so that man will be around to protect our offspring.

To get there, nature has created lots of different hormones, like oxytocin, that bond you to your man (and to your newborn baby later on, since it’s best you don’t dislike that baby either and want to keep caring for her or him). Oxytocin is the empathy and bonding hormone; it will bond you to whoever you’re with when it is released. It doesn’t know the difference between you having sex with your husband of five years or a guy you met last night. This hormone is the main reason why most women let their guard down and want to bond after having sex. (Brian Nox, Psychology Today, 2013)

          As a female I know how our bodies play tricks on our minds, instinctively as mammals our bodies were meant to reproduce and bond with our mates so it isn’t as easy for us to separate sex from love as it is for males. So what about men, can’t they be pussywhipped? No sis, a man being pussywhipped is definitely not the same as a woman being dicknotized. The term pussywhipped actually has little to do with sex or pussy. Men who are pussywhipped are addicted to that woman’s mind, behavior, vibe, etc. Being pussywhipped is when a woman get into a man’s head, the one that is on his shoulders that is. There are different hormones that males release while having sex which makes their emotions react far different from ours. Men release dopamine when they climax which gives them a feeling closely related to victory having accomplished a mission which is why they don’t feel that bond like we do when we release oxytocin. Men’s basic animal instincts are to breed with as many females as possible spreading their genes, as for us we can only have one pregnancy at a time and we are programmed to bond with the child and the father. Even if we take out the possibility of kids on the most basic level, these hormones make women feel like we’ve found the perfect guy for us whereas men feel like they’ve gotten their nut so they can dip to the next woman. This is why it’s so hard for a woman to leave the guy alone that she’s been fucking for awhile and it is especially harder if she actually produces a child with him *fucking sigh* hence why baby mama drama is so common.

          In conclusion I feel that by knowing how our hormones work and their natural purpose, we can then understand why we feel dicknotized and snap ourselves out of it. Men do not fall under the same spell we do through sex so understand how it affects you far more than him. Do not let your hormones make choices for you, there is a plethora of penis attached to great men that can be beneficial to your soul as well as your pussy so don’t settle for a man who only has excellent pipe game. So fellas be aware of the power of you penis and ladies and don’t make permanent decisions over temporary dick.

Peace & Love,

Bri💋

M.I.L.Fs, Thots & Sluts

“Women are empowered when they accept, embrace, own and worship their sexuality…
Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there” -Rumi 

          So it’s been a minute since I’ve made a post and this post will be to explain why. First and foremost I’ve of course been busy adulting and figuring out my life so that kinda took me out of writing. Also I am a writer and I’m sensitive about my ish so I have written A LOT of stuff that I just haven’t posted because I doubt if my work is good enough despite all the positive feedback I’ve had. Anywho the big issue was about my most viewed post, you know the top 10 types of sex. Some people felt that as a mother, I shouldn’t be so explicit and speak so freely about sex. For those that know me I’ve always loved to talk about sex and believe in owning your sexuality but of course when I became a mom I toned down on how open I am about this. But honestly why should I? It’s part of who I am and what makes me me. I mean of course I know when it is and isn’t appropriate to speak of such topics in public, like I’m not going to be at a PTA meeting talking about why I enjoy birthday sex but in my social circles and on my blog these topics shouldn’t be off the table because I’m a mom. I mean how do you think I got my little one (hint: all of those types of sex I mentioned, except shower sex because it sucks).There’s this stigma that mothers should be saints and once you push out a child you are no longer allowed to be sexy, talk about sex or be open with your sexuality, WRONG!! People criticize Amber Rose relentlessly for her being a self proclaimed Slut and a mother, like why can’t she do both? How is owning your sexuality and loving your body not respecting yourself?  Oh if you’re a mother and in the public eye you should be a role model. Well I don’t really believe in role models because you shouldn’t strive to imitate someone who inspires you but then a lot of people do it and then blame the person they idolized for not being exactly the perfect person they pictured in their head. We are all human no one is perfect but if you live a life that makes you happy and you’re not hurting anyone then what is the issue? Patriarchal society has us programmed to “slut-shame” any and everything women do. If a man fucks a thousand women no one bats an eye but if a woman is open about her sexuality she is a hoe, thot, jumpoff, etc. In today’s society there are only Ayesha Currys and then there are Amber Roses, no in-between. Women cannot be multifaceted and own their sexuality without being looked down upon but I’ve had enough of holding myself back because of the judgement of others.

But what about your son? How will he view you? Well for starters he’s my son I’m always going to be his mom, his biggest supporter and he will not love me less for being myself. I believe he’ll benefit from having parents that don’t treat sexuality as a taboo subject. I want my son to be comfortable talking to me or his father about sex. I also want him to not judge and be respectful of others sexuality. I was never comfortable talking to my parents about sex and they condemned anyone who wasn’t a virgin before marriage. Growing up my parents never had “The talk” with me because they are conservative Christians and so were their parents. So everything I’ve learned about sex I’ve learned it myself. I’ve studied sex and sexuality from the physical aspects to the psychological, emotional and spirituality of it. The only religion I practice is love and I think sex is a spiritual practice not just a great workout and a release. Every man I’ve had sex with I had to have a strong connection with and I think that is a very important part of sex so I’m not here to advocate having meaningless sex but if that’s what floats your boat I don’t think you should be judged or shamed for doing so. I also believe that people should be aware of their sexuality by practicing safe sex to protect yourself from disease as well as protecting your energies (because sex is one of the highest forms of energy exchange) so one should make responsible choices for their own body and spirit.

I’m not here to tell anyone how to live their lives, not here to say what is right or wrong but I want everyone to take notice of how they treat and judge others for doing things that make them happy. Not everyone will have the same norm or standard as you, some things that make you comfortable make others uncomfortable but that’s life and like I said as long as no one is being harmed, harassed or hurt it shouldn’t be an issue to you.
 Let sexually liberated people live their lives!

So I decided that in order to keep being consistent on my blog I will talk about whatever the fuck I want to talk about.  I’m sexy, I’m a mom and I’ll do what I want.

Peace & Love,

Bri💋

Strength

It was always so difficult for me to pinpoint my strengths because I never really believed in myself. Like I would say there were things I was good or okay at but I never thought I was truly great at anything. I’ve never been one to aspire to climb the corporate latter, start my own company or any other major money making profession, so at first I thought I wasn’t ambitious enough to succeed in these areas. Not that it isn’t great to want this, it’s just not for me. After a 7 month battle with depression I finally realized my biggest strength is healing. I am a healer, I always have been, but I was so good at healing others I expected someone would be able to heal me. No that’s my job and it always has been. As a healer I encourage others, make others feel great about themselves, build people up, make them see their potential. My strength made me realize my passion: writing and teaching, these are the two occupations that allow me to exhibit my strength. I heal people by sharing with words, letting people know they aren’t alone in their journey and it won’t be bad forever. I teach to build others and help them realize their greatness. For the awkward empaths and introverts, dig deep, find your strengths and share them with the world…

The Best, Okay and Worst types of Sex

  
I’ve been debating whether to do a sex advice blog for a minute now and I just decided to take a crack at it. For this post I’ve compiled a list of the best, alright and worst types of sex, ten being the worst and one being the best. And no this isn’t going to involve love making deep spiritual connection type sex, I’m talking lip biting, back scratching, juices flowing, spanking, break the headboard type sex. So if you like share, comment, debate, discuss and spread the love! 

 10. Shower Sex: By far thee worst sex you will ever have! The shit is extra frustrating, dangerous and is nothing like how it is in movies. First off there are only two possible positions: doggy (bent over or against the wall) and the missionary lift up against the wall. With these two positions there is an uneven distribution of water so the water splashing in one person’s face probably throwing off the stroke all while trying to balance and not slip in the shower. Also the bath mats do not help, it’s only more slippery. Nobody really does the most and swings on shower rods like Mimi, it’s far too risky plus you don’t want to end up on an episode of Sex Sent Me to the ER. There is not enough room for proper leg spreading in the doggy style position, well at least in an average bathtub, you basically need one of those luxurious showers with the side seat and shower heads spread throughout to achieve semi decent fucking space, which about 99% of us can’t afford *Occupy The Shower*. The shower is to get clean, a shower is personal, maybe you can try some surfboard ish in a big ass bathtub but leave shower sex to movies and pornos.

 9. First Time Sex: So this counts for two situations, losing your virginity or your first time with a new partner both are equally awkward. This is just with my experience maybe some have had awesome first time encounters but it’s usually a lot of pressure unless you are high/drunk. Losing your virginity sucks of course for women because it’s painful and for guys it usually lasts less than 5min so it’s a lose-lose situation. The first time with a new partner is also awkward. You don’t know exactly what each other really likes but you try to live up to all the shit you were talking during sexting session so there’s a lot of pressure. Thus both or one of you tries wayyyyy to hard (usually the guy) and ends up just being a turn off. So yeah first times suck, maybe by the 2nd or 3rd time you guys get more in sync and are able to exceed expectations but it rarely happens the first time.
 8. Quickies: They’re like snickers when you’re horny, they’re good for the moment, and they get the job done. No real foreplay, lasts 10min or less and you can usually get in one or two positions before climaxing. Quickies are also good during breaks at the job, before you have an appointment, before the kids wake up, etc. Like I said quickies are alright they are the snickers before you get some real food because you aren’t yourself when you’re horny.
 7. “We shouldn’t be fucking” Sex: For those who get off on thrill in their life…and guilt. This type of sex is awesome and tempting but after you cum you are immediately hit with that “what have I done?” feeling. This type of sex usually involves an ex you know you shouldn’t be fucking, a friend or someone else’s BF/GF. It’s the off limits feeling that gets you horny and the sex is usually off the chain but the regret afterwards clouds your conscious, well until you get tempted again then you feel a sudden case of YOLO again *sigh* this one is a hard sex cycle to break (pun intended).

 6. Public Sex: Also for those who like to live dangerously and enjoy thrill, public sex is for you. Back when we were in high school, this is the only sex you can have because you can’t try shit in your parents’ house but as an adult public sex is like an extreme sport. From the car, to the park to the movie theater, public sex is fun… at least the first two times after that you lowkey feel like this isn’t fun anymore I’m not trying to get fined for this or a little like a prostitute… well that might work too if you’re into role play. The thrill of possibly getting caught makes the sex even better, it is fun to try once in a while… don’t be boring! 
 5. Masturbation: I’m all about the self-love baby!! This is the only type of sex guaranteed to make you cum!! Yes it’s by yourself but masturbation is very important to your personal sexual knowledge of self which helps when you are having sex with your partner. Masturbation helps you get in tuned to your body and figuring out what makes you cum. Now it’s kinda cut and dry for guys, a stroke is a stroke is a stroke, any stimulation to the penis is going to lead to an orgasm, but for us ladies it’s not that easy, our vaginas are a lot more complicated. As a teen I upgraded from dry humping pillows to real masturbation and taught myself about how my vagina works and what makes me cum. A lot of it is more than physical it’s mental, this discovery has helped my sex life so much. For guys it can help them last longer with their partner if they rub one out before a sex session. But ultimately women need to get in touch with themselves to be able to cum during sex. When you realize what you like and what gets you there you can help guide the sex session to get you there. You cannot have great sex if you don’t masturbate.

 4. No Holds Barred Freaky Sex: When 50 Shades of Grey has nothing on you, this is your favorite type. By the way 50 Shades was lame AF!! No choke-stroke, didn’t take a nut to the face, no face riding?! I was appalled that this movie was called kinky smh. Anyway no holds barred sex can involve handcuffs, whips, blindfolds, swings, extreme positions, it’s a whole new level of kink that people rarely explore. The feeling of dominating or being submissive during sex is turn on within itself, being aggressive and having control or freeing yourself of all inhibitions and losing control. Venturing between the lines of pain and pleasure, trying new things, just remember your safe word: Pineapples!

 3. Intoxicated Sex: When you are free of any inhibitions, the freak level goes 0 to 100 real quick. Disclaimer: When you are drunk or high you can also make horrible mistakes (no Cosby situation) but let’s just talk best case scenario when you’re with the person you want or are currently fucking. Intoxicated sex can lead to the most interesting sex scenarios like threesomes, sex in strange places or even sex competitions. When you’re drunk or high it opens the door to infinite euphoria, YOLO and orgasms at least until you pass out. Waking up to a blunt and morning sex after a night of drinking and fucking is awesome by the way.

  2. Morning Sex: What is so great about morning sex you ask? Everything!!! Breakfast in bed, breakfast and head, who doesn’t want to wake up like this. It’s really the best way to invigorate each other and get you up and ready to seize the day. It’s great for your health too, basically like getting a good workout at the start of your day. Even if you don’t want to get too vigorous in the morning my personal fave is that 4AM slide the panties to the side spoon fuck position. The best lazy sex ever!!! Studies show that men are at their horniest in the morning hence the term morning wood. So if you want some good D the AM hours are the best time to get it. The best part of waking up isn’t Folgers in your cup…

  
1. Birthday Sex: The number one best type of sex on the list is Birthday Sex, because it is awesome. I mean come on there’s even a song about it! Birthday sex is the have it your way of sex, nothing is off the table and your partner is very willing to make your birthday special. You can demand your favorite positions, playlist, places, maybe food in some cases (Let them eat your cake *wink*). If you are lucky to have great birthday sex it’s always a surprise to top the year before. This is also the only type of sex on the list that you can have every type on this list during that day and bday sex holds a special place in my heart❤️ which is why I ranked it number one.

 *Honorable Mention: Mirror Sex and Skype/Phone Sex: Mirror sex could’ve been high on the list but Elite Daily already did a piece on everything great about it that pretty much covered everything I had to say. In short it’s like making your own porno without the leftover evidence for a sexy tape scandal. Skype sex is cool if you’re in a long distance relationship and it’s an upgrade from those days of phone sex back in the day. Yes we remember those days back we were teens having phone sex with your BF/GF and talking all the freaky shit y’all would do to each other at school. Mannnn I was awesome at phone sex, I wonder how much do phone sex operators make, how does one apply for these jobs because chillllle lol.  

 
So that’s my list if you haven’t tried some of these give it a go and always be safe!

Peace & Love,

Bri💋

The Two Sides of Bri

“I’m the good with the evil
Fuck you nice to meet you
You can have a peace sign without the middle finger” -Big Sean

Hey everybody!  So Monday was my 26th birthday, I had a great time with my family and friends.  This age feels a tad different from the others, not in the matter of growing old but my overall sense of self and perspective on life has changed.   We are constantly growing, changing and improving and this is the first year I can really see how far I’ve come and logically connect the events in my life to the goals I must accomplish to get to where I want to be.  It’s a never ending journey the progress is continuous but sense of self at this point in my journey has been essentially to my growth.  In true Pisces fashion I realize I have two alternating sides, it’s more apparent than ever now and it’s not a bad thing, both are needed for internal balance.  These two sides aren’t the exact typical masculine/feminine/dark/light examples that are associated with Pisces because my sides are unique to me.  So I have named both sides, acknowledging their differences as if they are separate entities, crazy I know but that’s me.  I have one side: BriYvette, the Spotless Mind/Wanderer and the other side: Sonya Fade, the Sophisticated Ratchet.  Let me breakdown their differences:

BriYvette

-True Self
-Critical Thinker
-Gives
-Enjoys solitude 
-Relaxes by reading or zoning out to music
-Lives in the moment
-Optimistic Lover 
-Loves Comedies
-Wears whatever is comfortable 

-Weed smoker

-Writes or exercises to clear mind

-Considers her mind and personality most beautiful 

-Self Improvement 

-Speaks Truth

-Learns from past mistakes 

-Adapts through chaos

-Accepts what is

-Values freedom

Sonya Fade:

-Ego

-Acts on emotion

-Receives

-Enjoys attention 

-Relaxes by watching Netflix 

-Lives for the future

-Realist Nympho

-Loves Horror movies 

-Wears whatever looks sexy/trendy

-Drinks Alcohol 

-Vents or shops to clear mind

-Considers her physical features most beautiful  

-Self Destructive 

-Throws Shade

-Regrets past mistakes 

-Needs structure

-Cannot accept things how they are

-Values control

I know you may think some characteristics belong in the other side but that’s the point most pisces are a mix of the good and bad in each side.  Even though these sides of me are different they all combine and work as the whole me, the good and bad.  I’m not perfect not striving to be because you can never be perfect, but I’ve grown to love my imperfections.  To really know yourself you have to acknowledge the good and bad to figure out what needs to be worked on and what is essential to making you the best you.

Peace & Love, 

Bri💋

The Blueprint



I know it’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything but ya know; I’m a mommy and full time student so those priories must come first but I’ll be more consistent.  Anyway my birthday is a week so I wanted to promote a positive message about enjoying your own life and not focusing on where you thought you would be in life.  We live in the age where we think we can tell what’s going on in someone’s life through social media.  Our Facebooks and Instagrams are probably 20% actual friends and the rest are acquaintances or celebrities to which we compare our lives to.  Social media is mainly used to flex and pretend to be living the life to make others jealous.  Admit it, we all do it at times; show off how fly we look, popping bottles at the club, our new car, our MCM/WCW, etc.  We tend to emulate these celebrities who are paid to sell a dream, the new American Dream and social media is the best advertising campaign there is.  The term “Fake it till you make it” is what is said we should do, but faking it can easily put you in a worse off situation.  We seek to live out loud and look like we are doing better rather than actually taking the time to quietly better ourselves.  We love to make others jealous but are we really happy with the life we are living or just trying to make others believe that?  This is why a lot of people my age are going through the quarter life crisis, we feel like we should have everything together by 25 because it seems like everyone else has their shit together.  Pictures and status updates do not prove shit!  Someone could have plenty of money success, car, house, significant other and lifestyle you want and be completely unhappy.  I see people (especially women) posting pictures of baby’s saying they have #BabyFever or the stupid relationship goals memes and I’m like is this really all you want out of life or as women are we just supposed to strive to be wives and moms to validate our lives?  I can bet most of the chicks with #BabyFever will quickly lose it soon as a child wakes them up at 3AM or they can’t turn up at the next event because they have no babysitter.  Let’s face it many don’t want to be married but they do want that big wedding that they can post pictures of on IG and FB.  Is this what you want or is it what social media tells us what we should have?  I figured out I am not ready for marriage because at this point of my life I did just want a poppin wedding, but marriage and any healthy relationship is a lot of work.  Just because that life works for some does not mean it’ll work for you.  Stop comparing yourself to what you see!  I’ve had such a big problem with this especially since I never thought my life would be the way it is, I thought I’d be married, have a big house, have like 3 kids.  I realized that this is my journey it’s not going to look like the typical American Dream and I’m content with that because although it didn’t go the way I planned I’m still really blessed and enjoying what I am getting out of life.  What I thought I wanted was the average blueprint: graduate, start career, get married and have kids, but with that I don’t feel it was for me, I would not have grown the way I needed to if I followed that exact path.  I have some of the original things I wanted but not in that order and not the way I thought it would pan out and that’s exactly what was needed to make me the woman I am today, my journey is unique and designed for me.  Things never go as we plan but that makes the journey all well worth it, no one has the same blueprint so don’t let anyone tell you what your life should look like.  
Back to social media lifestyles, your life isn’t going to always be glamorous, most people have a lot of dark times they do not share on social media.  I mean of course you shouldn’t be sharing really personal info that could be used against you or moping around complaining about how depressed you are about a current situation on Facebook.  The thing is everyone goes through something but it all depends on your outlook.  Whatever struggle you are going through at the moment could be an inspiration to others, you don’t need to get in detail but expressing how you are working to better your situation could have a great effect on yourself and others.  We never know what anyone is going through behind closed doors and we live in a world where we all want to glamorize our lives to unrealistic expectations.  We front on Instagram and Facebook like we are happy 24/7-365 and it’s honestly impossible to be completely and utterly happy all the time.  Everyone struggles with something, everyone has highs and lows but we only advertise the highs because we believe no one cares about our hard times or we don’t want people to gossip or feel as if they are better than us when we go through the lows.  You never know how much you saying “I went through that and I’m surviving” can help the next individual.  I’ve been there, it’s the reason I continue to do this blog.  I’m not happy every day of my life, there are great times and absolutely horrible times but the thing that keeps me going is optimism.  No feeling is final, nothing stays the same your life will constantly change but your mindset helps direct which way it will go.  The goal should always be self-improvement and real growth as an individual, material shit means nothing when you are dead.  

By all means if you are living the life you truly want to lead and are proud of your accomplishments celebrate and post them.  What I wish people would stop doing is emulating the lifestyles of famous people to cover for their unhappiness.  Seek to truly improve you for you, not the Gram.  Seek to inspire and uplift with your posts not for likes and envy.  The highs and lows of make the most inspiring tales and I rather my life be an epic story instead of an Instagram or Facebook full of fake happiness.

Peace & Love
Bri💋

 

Thoughts on Marriage

I just watched this documentary 112 Weddings, it gives the perspective of couples during their wedding then revisiting the couples years after being married. There were couples who were still happily married who faced difficult struggles together yet are still persevering. There was also a few couples who were divorced, they either pinned the blame on each other or took responsibility and admitted being a shitty spouse. This documentary had me thinking especially since I have been proposed to in two terrible relationships and I must admit I don’t have many great examples of marriage growing up so marriage is a touchy subject for me. Marriage isn’t just about a legal commitment, the commitment to your significant other must already be present within both of you. Being “in love” isn’t the reason one should marry, being in love is only a feeling and feelings are fleeting. Love is a verb not a noun, it is an action you must give to your spouse every day. I believe to have a long lasting happy marriage two people must work every day at loving and understanding each other to the point in which you see your partner as an extension of you. Both equally have to want each other to always be in their lives and strive to keep it that way. Always trying to see things from their perspective as well as helping them to understand yours. Encouraging and building one another to be the best possible person they can be, inspiring each other to accomplish goals. Experiencing the best of life together and persevering through the worst. Lastly building a great legacy with one another so no matter what your will feel thankful and appreciative of what you have in each other and what you have built together. Kindness, caring, loving, excitement, understanding, building, excelling, appreciating, not a legal possession of each other but an unconditional union of love between two united souls, that’s what I hope to have with my future husband.

Peace & Love,
Bri

Situationships

So I know I haven’t made a blog post in a few months, been busy with mommy duties and school work but I’m back! Anyway a few days ago I was having a discussion with a friend about non-committed relationships and being in love with someone who isn’t in love with you aka the dreaded “Situationship”. A situationship is a term for a non-committed relationship popularized from a song by Fabulous. Situationships involve one emotionally invested person hoping that the situation will turn into an official relationship and the other just enjoying the ride, literally (sex pun). These type of relationships happen because the emotionally invested person lets their feelings paint a different picture of the person of interest rather than see the reality that is being presented. It doesn’t take long for a person to make an official commitment when they are really into someone, so all the excuses and bullshit are just ways to buy your time and attention. While they are sitting back enjoying your time and attention, you fail to realize you are just wasting your own time. When you spend a lot of time with someone, you get attached, add sex to the matter and the attachment grows deeper, but not always for both people though. I could be the poster child for when situationships go wrong lol, before I’ve actually ended a relationship with a man who was really in love with me to be in a Situationship I thought was real smh I know dumb as fuck right! Well I was immature and it took me a long time to really grasp that I was in a situationship but when I finally did I realized how unhealthy it was. Situationships/FWB/Non-Committed relationships are nothing but one way streets, one person gets their heart in it while the other is just enjoying the convenient company and affection. These relationships rarely if ever become anything more, all the dynamics of a real loving relationship are too out of whack to make the outcome successful. If you think about it, loving someone that only “likes” you is like seeing a train coming, hurling yourself on the tracks and having the overly optimistic belief that it won’t run you over. Welp truth is most likely the train will run you over, I mean the only choices the train has is to try to break and derail in order to save you or just run you the fuck over. And yes in the end you will get fucked over not because you deserve it, but well you put yourself in the position to be crushed. It sucks I know, but sometime no matter how real you believe your bond or connection with the other person is, it’s probably not meant to be anyway. But the moment you realize how bomb you are, you won’t sell yourself short anymore. When something is real, you’ll know it. You won’t have to doubt or question it because that person will make sure you know (through both words and actions) that they are just as serious about you as you are about them.

Peace & Love,
Bri💋

Snooping

This week on Bravo’s new series Blood, Sweat & Heels, the topic of discussion was snooping through your man’s phone. Most of the women on the show agree that it is necessary to snoop on your man once in a while to check him and make sure he’s not out of line. But one of the women, Demetria adamantly disagreed and said if you have to snoop what’s the point of the relationship? She also added that women with low self esteem do this and put up with the bullsh*t when they do catch their men cheating.
I completely agree with Demetria, if there is no trust in the relationship, there is no relationship! Snooping honestly only gets your feelings hurt because if you search hard enough for anything, you’ll find it. Your insecurities will play on any little thing you see in a guy’s phone no matter how innocent.
I’ve been this woman in several relationships, I’ve done better research than a private investigator. I checked phones, email, Facebook, Twitter, IG, MySpace, etc. I even went as far as putting a girl’s email address in a database at my previous job and I found her number and her home address. Yeah I was that kind of crazy insecure girlfriend.
The thing that also gets me is after we find out something in the guy’s phone what do we do? Either confront the female, which is what happens a majority of the time or confront the man, which usually happens after the other women gives them all the details they didn’t know. And what will happen after this? Most of the time the woman will stay and continue to be in an insecure relationship constantly checking her man’s phone, or she decides she’s learned her lesson from snooping and will be willfully blind or she’ll be smart enough to realize that the relationship is broken and it’s time to leave. Either way snooping is no good, it’s not only a sign of an unhealthy relationship but it’s also invasion of someone’s privacy. Ladies, if a guy checked your phone and blew up about an innocent convo with a guy friend we’d feel violated and confused right? Well this is how they feel! If you aren’t secure enough to trust him, then you don’t need to be in a relationship.

Peace & Love,
Bri

Ego Vs. Spirit

I love this quote, I feel this is a great note to start off on in the new year. For so long I had been listening to my ego and thinking that once I found love or started a career making a good amount of money I would find my peace and I never did. I was searching for meaning in my life that I felt would come through temporary relationships or material things. Ego was the reason I found myself in several bad relationships hoping to find love in a hopeless place. Ego was the reason I dropped out of college because I believed higher education was pointless. Ego has cost me to lose friends and miss out on once in a lifetime opportunities and my only regret is letting my ego rule me for so long. This blog, I believe, is part of my spiritual journey, to let my guard down and share a piece of me to the world through my passion which is writing. Though I have made countless mistakes in my life, I know that the most important thing is to learn from one’s mistakes and try to help others not make the same ones. For the first time in my life I can truly say I found my peace and subsequently everything in my life is falling in place. I got back into college, stopped searching for a man to complete me and became a mom to the most wonderful little boy in the world. I’m content and happy in the moment, not to say I’m not still striving to better myself in every aspect of life but I’m enjoying life as it comes. My hope and goal for whoever reads my blog will come out with a new perspective on the world and their own life.
Peace & Love,
Bri