The Blueprint 

I know it’s been a minute since I’ve posted anything but ya know; I’m a mommy and full time student so those priories must come first but I’ll be more consistent.  Anyway my birthday is a week so I wanted to promote a positive message about enjoying your own life and not focusing on where you thought you would be in life.  We live in the age where we think we can tell what’s going on in someone’s life through social media.  Our Facebooks and Instagrams are probably 20% actual friends and the rest are acquaintances or celebrities to which we compare our lives to.  Social media is mainly used to flex and pretend to be living the life to make others jealous.  Admit it, we all do it at times; show off how fly we look, popping bottles at the club, our new car, our MCM/WCW, etc.  We tend to emulate these celebrities who are paid to sell a dream, the new American Dream and social media is the best advertising campaign there is.  The term “Fake it till you make it” is what is said we should do, but faking it can easily put you in a worse off situation.  We seek to live out loud and look like we are doing better rather than actually taking the time to quietly better ourselves.  We love to make others jealous but are we really happy with the life we are living or just trying to make others believe that?  This is why a lot of people my age are going through the quarter life crisis, we feel like we should have everything together by 25 because it seems like everyone else has their shit together.  Pictures and status updates do not prove shit!  Someone could have plenty of money success, car, house, significant other and lifestyle you want and be completely unhappy.  I see people (especially women) posting pictures of baby’s saying they have #BabyFever or the stupid relationship goals memes and I’m like is this really all you want out of life or as women are we just supposed to strive to be wives and moms to validate our lives?  I can bet most of the chicks with #BabyFever will quickly lose it soon as a child wakes them up at 3AM or they can’t turn up at the next event because they have no babysitter.  Let’s face it many don’t want to be married but they do want that big wedding that they can post pictures of on IG and FB.  Is this what you want or is it what social media tells us what we should have?  I figured out I am not ready for marriage because at this point of my life I did just want a poppin wedding, but marriage and any healthy relationship is a lot of work.  Just because that life works for some does not mean it’ll work for you.  Stop comparing yourself to what you see!  I’ve had such a big problem with this especially since I never thought my life would be the way it is, I thought I’d be married, have a big house, have like 3 kids.  I realized that this is my journey it’s not going to look like the typical American Dream and I’m content with that because although it didn’t go the way I planned I’m still really blessed and enjoying what I am getting out of life.  What I thought I wanted was the average blueprint: graduate, start career, get married and have kids, but with that I don’t feel it was for me, I would not have grown the way I needed to if I followed that exact path.  I have some of the original things I wanted but not in that order and not the way I thought it would pan out and that’s exactly what was needed to make me the woman I am today, my journey is unique and designed for me.  Things never go as we plan but that makes the journey all well worth it, no one has the same blueprint so don’t let anyone tell you what your life should look like.  
Back to social media lifestyles, your life isn’t going to always be glamorous, most people have a lot of dark times they do not share on social media.  I mean of course you shouldn’t be sharing really personal info that could be used against you or moping around complaining about how depressed you are about a current situation on Facebook.  The thing is everyone goes through something but it all depends on your outlook.  Whatever struggle you are going through at the moment could be an inspiration to others, you don’t need to get in detail but expressing how you are working to better your situation could have a great effect on yourself and others.  We never know what anyone is going through behind closed doors and we live in a world where we all want to glamorize our lives to unrealistic expectations.  We front on Instagram and Facebook like we are happy 24/7-365 and it’s honestly impossible to be completely and utterly happy all the time.  Everyone struggles with something, everyone has highs and lows but we only advertise the highs because we believe no one cares about our hard times or we don’t want people to gossip or feel as if they are better than us when we go through the lows.  You never know how much you saying “I went through that and I’m surviving” can help the next individual.  I’ve been there, it’s the reason I continue to do this blog.  I’m not happy every day of my life, there are great times and absolutely horrible times but the thing that keeps me going is optimism.  No feeling is final, nothing stays the same your life will constantly change but your mindset helps direct which way it will go.  The goal should always be self-improvement and real growth as an individual, material shit means nothing when you are dead.  

By all means if you are living the life you truly want to lead and are proud of your accomplishments celebrate and post them.  What I wish people would stop doing is emulating the lifestyles of famous people to cover for their unhappiness.  Seek to truly improve you for you, not the Gram.  Seek to inspire and uplift with your posts not for likes and envy.  The highs and lows of make the most inspiring tales and I rather my life be an epic story instead of an Instagram or Facebook full of fake happiness.

Peace & Love


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